By: An Exasperated Observer
PORT LOKO DISTRICT, Sierra Leone – In what can only be described as a masterclass in procrastination, the ECOWAS Logistics Depot in Lungi has finally reached the thrilling milestone of 99% completion—a mere 24 years after the project started! This glacial pace of progress has been so breathtaking that one might even say it’s practically on the verge of being finished… any decade now.
The Minister of Planning and Economic Development (MoPED), Madam Kenyeh Barlay, led a jubilant delegation of Members of Parliament, local authorities, and other important-looking individuals on a tour of the depot on August 23rd, 2024. The mood was one of cautious optimism, tinged with just a hint of disbelief that the depot might actually be completed before the next century.
“We’re almost there!” exclaimed Madam Barlay, who, much like her predecessors, has witnessed the depot’s development—or lack thereof—over the years. “I’m sure the main opposition leader from the APC, who was also invited, is just as stunned as we are that this day has come. Let’s be real, who would have thought?”
The project, which began in July 2000, has weathered numerous obstacles, including land grabbing, security concerns, and minor global disruptions like the Ebola outbreak, COVID-19, and probably the odd locust plague. Yet, against all odds—and reason—it has soldiered on to a stunning 99% completion. “We’ve even had to fight off misconceptions about the project,” Barlay said, referring to rumors that the depot might actually be a government-funded mirage.
The ECOWAS Representative in Sierra Leone, Alhaji Aruna Musa, added his two cents, proclaiming the depot as a “logistics hub” that will serve as a standby force for peacekeeping operations. “You know, the kind of hub that takes a quarter-century to build,” he didn’t add, but we all knew he was thinking it.
Meanwhile, the people of Kaffu Bullom Chiefdom were asked to generously donate yet another acre of land to this seemingly insatiable project. “What’s one more acre?” Barlay pleaded. “Think of the jobs, the capacity building, the satisfaction of knowing you’ve contributed to a project that might, just might, be finished before your grandchildren retire.”
In a shocking twist, the project consultants revealed that the depot is actually “over 97% complete,” which is a suspiciously specific number that conveniently rounds up to the much more celebratory 99%. They assured everyone that all that’s left is a bit of planting, some fire equipment, and a few other minor details—like building additional quarters for soldiers. You know, nothing that couldn’t be knocked out in, say, another five to ten years.
The Speaker of Kaffu Bullom Chiefdom, Alhaji Alimamy Dumbuya, praised the government for constructing the new airport and expressed his undying support for the depot. “We’re proud to support this depot, which, like fine wine, just keeps getting better with age,” he said, somehow keeping a straight face.
As the day’s celebrations wound down, retired Lieutenant-Colonel Dr. Bala Mohamed, the Head of the Logistics Depot, described the occasion as “historic.” And indeed, it was—another historic day in the never-ending saga of a project that, at long last, might just be ready before the 22nd century.
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