By Kai Mansa-Musa
Freetown, Sierra Leone — In a thrilling plot twist that no one asked for, a motorcyclist managed to defy both gravity and common sense by colliding with a vehicle at the ever-popular Congo Cross intersection. The motorcyclist, who appeared to be deeply committed to the “helmets-are-just-for-show” movement, lost consciousness in the process — a condition doctors might diagnose as “concoction,” or what we mere mortals call a mix of head trauma and regret.
The incident, which took place near the Al-Itihad Mosque, left the cyclist sprawled on the ground like a human exclamation point in a scene littered with shattered motorbike lights. The vehicle, innocently trying to branch from the Main Motor Road, found itself entangled in this ill-fated rendezvous with the helmet-less hero. Both parties were headed west, though only one appeared to be heading towards the hospital.
Enter the heroes of the day: a group of military officers, who were lucky enough to be halted by the crash while enjoying a peaceful rickshaw ride. Wasting no time, they sprang into action, channeling their inner MacGyver by tearing up the cyclist’s shirt to fashion a bandage for his bleeding head. Apparently, the cyclist’s helmet — which was decoratively attached to the back of his motorbike — was too busy being fashionable to be functional.
In the aftermath, onlookers reflected on the cyclist’s questionable decision to not wear his helmet, noting that it might have saved him from much of the impact. Alas, fashion won this round, leaving the man to be whisked away to the hospital in a keke, no doubt pondering the age-old question: “Why wear a helmet when you can tie it to the back of your bike?”
Stay tuned for more breaking news, where safety continues to battle style in the streets of Freetown.